Tuesday, March 10th, saw a high of 76 degrees after a winter season plagued with snowstorms. This isn’t the first time that the New Jersey weather has drastically changed, from snowy streets to sunny skies. In a phenomenon that we at The Bacon like to call “Spring,” the weather has, historically, seen a rise in temperatures following the winter months for some years now.

Betty Elms, a Wayne local, is quite fond of the new weather, remarking “I’d say ‘thank you darling’ to Mother Nature.” Later revealing that the warm temperatures inspire her to take a stroll with her “hooters” out. While we thought Elms was joking, local authorities report that this ideology is now a reality.

Other members of the Wayne community have resonated with Elms’ actions, and are also currently participating in this new celebration of the warm weather. Locals have been spotted strolling up and down the long strips of asphalt that their homes rest on. They walk around completely exposed on, what we at The Bacon like to call, their “Streets”. This way they can fully enjoy the sunlight and “Vitamin-D-maxx,” a popular trend on a social media app that we at The Bacon like to call “YouTube Shorts.”

“I frequent the YouTube Shorts scene,” said Damon Killian, the Mayor of Ridgeville Township, after being asked to share his thoughts on this new fad. “I’m taking initiative to implement this mandatory ‘vitamin-D-maxxing,’ which I think will help my odds of mayor-mogging every other chud town.”

He further claims that Ridgeville residents need to complete a minimum of 6-7 hours fully nude outside and that he’s “very glad that indecent exposure is back in style.”

The mayor’s words have left many, including the brilliant minds at The Bacon, confused over the supposed return of indecent exposure to the public psyche. Betty Elms, Ridgeville citizens, and Baconites alike now wonder: When has it ever been out of style?