Billy the Bear endorses Joe Biden for Democratic nominee


Courtesy of @BillyTheBearWP Twitter

Optimus P. Bielington, Robot in Disguise

In a devastating blow to Bernie Sanders, William Paterson’s own beloved Billy the Bear announced this morning that he is endorsing former vice president Joe Biden for the Democratic nomination.

“The pandemic has made this a frightening time for all of us,” he said in a virtual rally via Zoom. “And the Trump administration has done an awful job at taking care of it. We need a man in the White House as soon as possible that can beat him. That’s why I’m proudly endorsing Joe Biden.”

The Democratic primaries are becoming contentious with Biden’s increasing support from former rivals and postponements in primary polls and caucuses due to the impacts of COVID-19.

The chances for Bernie Sanders already started to seem dim among his recent Super Tuesday losses and Biden’s increasingly large delegate count, but now, there seems to be little to no hope for him. Billy the Bear is a longtime critic of Democratic socialism. The business owner of “Billy’s Basics,” an online clothing and makeup company, the Willy P mascot once called socialism “worse than bees.”

William Paterson students are expected to be a key vote in the Democratic primaries, making Billy the Bear’s endorsement a huge factor in who the students might vote for. Bernie Sanders said he was disappointed, but not surprised, at the Bear’s endorsement.

“Billy the Bear is a billionaire,” Sanders said. “He’s part of the 1%. Of course he’s going to do whatever it takes so that I don’t win.”

Billy the Bear is, in fact, a billionaire, but he said that this shouldn’t be something that matters to students.

“I’ve put my money into helping communities,” said the Bear. “Don’t judge me based on my income.”

Billy the Bear does, in fact, have a history of making donations to local communities, such as Paterson and Clifton.

“Billy the Bear paid my tuition,” said a teary-eyed student. “Billy’s endorsement is my endorsement.”

Billy the Bear has been criticized by his opponents for taking money from Big Honey and changing his position on certain issues after receiving money from bee extermination companies. The Bear has denied these accusations, but he has a record of switching his position on bills and voting against them after being lobbied, an investigation by the Gaggle Times found. Billy the Bear served on the Bear Homeland Security Council of the William Paterson Senate from 1980-1984, before losing his seat to Winnie-Not-the-Poo.

He has also been criticized for suggesting that Gary G. Gaggle should be pardoned after the goose was sent to prison for hijacking a shuttle bus.

“He’s a sellout,” said Bernie Sanders. “It’s a shame that so few see it. But the Sanders campaign is going to keep fighting.”