Cannabis Institute Calls on Students to Test Their Marijuana

courtesy of

El Jefe, WPU Resident Pothead

Faculty members from the William Paterson Cannabis Institute announced today that they would be hosting an event to test the effects of different strands of marijuana on the adolescent brain.

The Cannabis Institute has been conducting a ton of research on the effects of legal marijuana, however, they have yet to test how THC actually changes behavior.

They have called on all pot-friendly students to attend their open study, which they are calling the William Paterson Weed Party (WPWP). It is planned to take place next Friday night at Professor Mary Jane Potricia’s house, and all who attend and plan to take part in the fun should have plans ahead of time on how to get home safe.

The study will be focusing on not only the differences in the sativa vs. indica plants, but also on how smoking pot can affect your behavior when compared to ingesting it.

The Cannabis Institute faculty urges any students that wish to take part to be aware of their tolerance level as to avoid “being a buzz kill.” They also mentioned specifically that they do not want to “babysit students who can’t handle their edibles.”

The WPWP will start at around 8 p.m., with plans to order pizza at around midnight. There will be plenty of snacks available throughout the event, such as various types of potato chips and cookies.

“We got around 2 pounds of weed from our local police station so we’ll have plenty for our students and ourselves,” said Potricia. All who attend will have their pick of how they want to partake in the event. There is talk that there will even be a separate table with edibles, but they are recommended for only the experienced cannabis connoisseur.

When the pizza arrives, the faculty plans to monitor the students’ brain activity while watching “Rick and Morty.” The Cannabis Institute claims this information is critical to their research because they will be comparing the dopamine and serotonin levels of the students on arrival to the levels they reach while watching Adult Swim and eating pizza.

After watching television and snacking for a few hours, it is planned that almost all the students and faculty members will have crashed by then. Professor Potricia has informed students that there will be plenty of blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags for all who wish to stay until the morning, as she will most likely be continuing smoking anyway.

At sunrise, the faculty members will both guide students out to their cars and to double check that everyone got home safely. After this, they will review all the research that was done.

“We acknowledge that we won’t get a huge amount of research recorded because we’ll be baked out of our minds,” said Potricia. She went on to say that this will not be too big of a problem since she will have plenty to talk about next week in her Cannabis class.