AR-15’s Hold Protest in Response to Current Political Climate


Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States

Last weekend’s “March for Life” saw nearly a million demonstrators and protestors flood the streets of Washington D.C in an attempt to lobby for stricter gun laws. In response to growing criticism, a group of AR-15 rifles held a demonstration on campus to protest the growing hatred toward them.

The leader of the group, an AR-15 produced by Colt, preached the following message to a group of demonstrators: “Long gone are the days of understanding and tolerance. We are seeing a new enemy emerge from the alt-left, an enemy which is fighting for our destruction and abolishment.”

“Listen to me,” said another rifle. “As Armalite-15 rifles, not assault rifles, we protect those who are unable to protect themselves worldwide daily with almost no criticism, but on our home soil, we are demonized and blamed for crimes we are unable to commit. It’s like these protestors think we have a mind of our own or something.”

As the number of protestors grew, I immediately disguised myself as a card-carrying member of the NRA and joined the ranks of the protestors in an effort to hear their voice. Despite the vilification by the media of these rifles, nobody at the protest was injured. On the contrary, the protest was quiet and peaceful. Even though dozens of rifles showed up, not one shot was fired. Interestingly, when the demonstrators left, there was no garbage and trash left over. There were no arrests, and riot police were not dispatched. It’s almost as if the rifles lacked a voice.

Kindness, though, was not a common virtue at the protest. When I tried to ask one rifle about his classification as an assault weapon, I was immediately shunned.

“Uh excuse me, but I self- identify as a BB gun. I would appreciate it if you would not refer to me by the caliber I was assigned to at manufacturer.”

Another rifle claimed, “I’m not worried at all about the current political climate. Because at the end of the day, regardless of which legislation is passed, my ability to be possessed will not change. It’s not like criminals are compliant with gun laws. We live in a nation where the far majority of crimes are committed with handguns, not rifles. But we cant expect a populace which has never carried or handled these styles of weapons to understand what that means, can we?”

Despite the protest, the future of these styles of rifles remains unknown. Without a vocal representation in Congress, the voice of these rifles is silenced. A grim future exists for them, and an even grimmer future exists for law-abiding citizens who wish to protect their homes and themselves from the evil within our world.

As one rifle put it, “The greatest irony of all is the same people who fill themselves with hate toward our kind, rely on us for protection constantly without even realizing it.”