During one of my routine rewatches of “The Mindy Project”, The main character, Mindy, said something that really stuck with me.
“You are obsessed with eternity. Everything is forever, ‘Best Friends Forever’, ‘Henry and Sophia Forever. […] Guess what, that stuff’s imaginary […] teens fall for this all the time.”
It made me think about this idea that teens are obsessed with “forever”. Years ago, the idea of a promise ring surfaced, meaning that someone in a relationship gave their significant other a ring to wear to symbolize that one day, it will be replaced by an engagement ring. A “promise” to be together forever. It sounds sweet, but now it’s getting out of hand. I’ve even seen “promise puppies.”
What’s the rush? As someone who’s in a happy and loving relationship and someone who works at a bridal store, I understand wanting to be with one person forever. But from a birdseye view, I’m nineteen years old and I don’t plan on getting married until my late 20’s. That doesn’t mean I don’t see myself staying with my boyfriend, it just means that I’m not going to obsess over the idea of marriage and being together.
Often I’ll see someone my age or younger refer to their relationship as hard work or they’ll say the phrase as old as time, “we have our ups and downs, and when it’s good it’s really, really good.”
Here’s what I have to say about that:
If you’re dating someone who makes you say “love is hard”, they are not for you. If you’re young, there’s no reason for you to tie yourself down to someone who makes you unhappy. Yes, love is hard work. It will be at any age, but if you’re crying every night and doubting your self-worth solely because of your relationship, especially at seventeen years old, take a step back and evaluate your relationship.
Furthermore, sometimes you need to realize that just because you made it through high school, or stuck with each other during that first long-distance college semester, does not mean you will marry them. When you keep that idea in your head that good morning texts equal marriage, you put your whole life in a box. You plan every class you take, every career choice you make, and every big decision around the idea that you are going to spend the rest of your life with somebody.
That being said, some people are extremely satisfied with getting married at a young age. Some people get really lucky and meet the love of their life when they’re young.
What I’m trying to get across to you is that it’s okay to be in love and fantasize about marriage. But don’t stay with a person solely based on the fact that you have it in your head you’ll be together forever. With social media romanticizing young love, it’s easy to feel the pressure to find your soulmate before your twenties, but don’t let that interfere with your life plans, goals, and aspirations.
