Lessons from Jessica Ciencin Henriquez

ALEXIA+FERNANDEZ%2FPEOPLE.COM

ALEXIA FERNANDEZ/PEOPLE.COM

Christopher Risco, Staff Writer

“Sweet Home Alabama” actor Josh Lucas is an alleged cheater. At least according to his ex-wife, New York Times writer Jessica Ciencin Henriquez who he was married to from 2012 to 2014. They also share a seven year old son.

She took to her twitter account on May 29 and accused Lucas of stepping out on their relationship.

“Having a child with someone makes you want to forgive them more than you normally would, it makes you believe they are better than they are” Henriquez tweeted. “But it takes a really s–t human to cheat on their partner (correction: now ex partner) in the middle of a pandemic. Thank you for reminding me why I left you in the first place.”

She continued on about how she and her son deserve better than that. She also explained why she’s putting this on Twitter. She says that many women accept things much less than they deserve because they have kids.

Since 2014, they have been co-parenting with admittedly some missteps. In the Time.com article, “Raising My Son With My Ex-Husband Is The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done” Henriquez writes about the struggles of co-parenting.

“So, here we go, I’ll say the thing that no one else wants to say: Co-parenting sucks. My son was 1 years old when I moved out of the home I shared with my husband” she wrote.

“We’ve tried mediation and meditation, and seeing each other in moderation. We’ve lived separately, together and have even tried nesting (a name for the cohabitation set-up where the child stays in one home while the parents rotate in and out). We’ve tried cooperative parenting and parallel parenting, going no-contact and going full-contact (a name for the emotional set back where you start sleeping together again against all better judgment).”

Cooperative Parenting can be defined as, “The style used by families in which conflict is low and parents can effectively communicate about their child,” according to parentingafterdivorce.com.

The definition of Parallel Parenting is, “An arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other, and having limited direct contact, in situations where they have demonstrated that they are unable to communicate with each other in a respectful manner,” according to psychologytoday.com.

First off, I want to say that I absolutely detest cheating/infidelity. To the men and women out there, stay faithful to your partners. I have little respect and tolerance for cheaters. I just don’t understand why people are not honest with their partners.

When it comes to Henriquez and Lucas’s situation, maybe it was not the smartest decision for her to air out their dirty laundry publicly for legal reasons, like character defamation.

However, I can appreciate her honesty because she is absolutely right that there are women and men out there settling for less than they probably deserve. Everyone deserves to have a happy, healthy and loving romantic relationship. Whether that relationship be monogamous, polyamorous or open.

So, I applaud Henriquez for her message of self love.

As far as I’m concerned, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” I don’t believe in second chances in romantic relationships. So good luck to any woman who entertains the idea of a romantic relationship with Josh Lucas.