Showbiz Cheat Sheet
Charlie Hunnam is neutral when it comes to marriage.
The former “Sons of Anarchy” actor went on Andy Cohen’s Sirius XM radio show, Radio Andy, to promote his new movie “The Gentlemen”. Cohen asked him his thoughts on marriage with his girlfriend of 14 years, Morgana McNelis.
“Sort of indifferent, she does not feel the same, she’s very eager to get married,” Hunnam said. “You know, I’ll do it because it’s important to her, but I don’t have any sort of great romantic feelings towards it.”
That didn’t go over well with Niels because two weeks after that interview, he issued an apology to her.
“I have to say that really hurt my girlfriend’s feelings,” said Hunnam. “I really regretted saying that, cause I actually didn’t mean it at all.”
He also offered some clarity to his previous statement.
“The reality is, I sort of consider myself married. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 14 years… I suppose what I was trying to articulate was that the official government sanctioning of it doesn’t mean anything to me,” he said.
Two days after his apology, he was spotted buying flowers in an attempt to make it up to McNelis after his insensitive comments.
This mindset about marriage isn’t reserved for only men. Pop superstar Shakira is also in a long-term relationship (nine years) with soccer superstar Gerard Piqué and they have two sons together. She recently said in an interview with “60 Minutes” that she has no desire to get married.
“I don’t want him to see me as the wife. I’d rather him see me as his girlfriend. His lover. A little forbidden fruit,” Shakira said. “I wanna keep him on his toes, I want him to think that anything is possible depending on behavior.”
In an older interview with Glamour magazine, she said they have the fundamentals of a “married family”.
“We already have what’s essential, you know? We have a union, a love for each other, and a baby,” said Shakira. “I think that those aspects of our relationship are already established, and marriage is not going to change them.”
To knock the idea of marriage down even further, the marriage rate in the United States has steadily declined. We went from 16 marriages per 1,000 people in the 1940s to 6.9 marriages in 2014.
First off, I respect both Shakira & Charlie Hunnam’s opinions.
Furthermore, Charlie Hunnam was married once before to actress Katharine Towne and he describes that marriage as, “Three terrible, painful, expensive years.”
So it’s somewhat understandable why he doesn’t want to walk down the aisle again. With that being said, I respectfully have to disagree with both of them and accuse them of reinforcing stereotypes. Charlie reinforced the stereotype of men not being sensitive to women’s feelings and being scared of full-blown commitment.
Shakira reinforced the stereotype of once women become wives, men don’t have to “try” anymore so to speak. They got the woman and now what? The term “wife” has became stigmatized when it really should not be.
If you look at research (refer back to my declined link), being married is better than just cohabiting with someone and having children with them. Marriage is something that I believe in. I like the idea of calling someone “my husband” or “my wife” and being someone’s husband one day.
I also like the visual of wearing a wedding band and my partner wearing a wedding band as well. That signals love and unity to me. Living with someone before marriage is not what I believe because then what would be the point in getting married if we already live together.
I live by the saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”? Do not settle ladies and gentlemen.